I know i always say 'i'm black and so i cant be depressed' , but for some couple of days now, i have been feeling not so good about my self, my brain capacity, my ability to study and finish something with a presentable result...
why am i even so bothered about this ish?? i have spoken to people that matter and everyone has one reason or more why i should just let things go and take it as easy as i possibly can.
I am a woman, and most times when i say 'long story' trust me it ain't as long as you expect it to be.
there is this wonderful lady who happens to 'be paid to impact something meaningful to my life' and for some reason after the 'impacting session' she of cause has to figure out if she has done some kind of work or not, by giving me a kind of test, so every single time, something happens that i have to seek different means to prove to her that ' i was impacted in her class, but mainly by the contributions of others in that impactation class', i blame myself each time for walking into her class, but lets face it, i don't have much options, the most frustrating part right now is that i always think that each time will be different.(it never is).
Fuck!!! she has drained me this last week, i have had to check and cross check every possible option i have, a friend even told me it was God's will, i don't want to be a hypocrite, but i don't think God will put me in this situation that stresses the life off of me all the time, i was supposed to finish up on my thesis and send a copy to my supervisor this week, but instead i;m looking for classes to substitute for her class i took , having to try and balance my time between work and school(which i thought i wouldn't have any classes this final semester), everything is just haywire for me... i;m sorry if you don't get most of what i'm saying, i'm just too angry to get the right words in a coherent order.
On a totally different note, the supreme court of Nigeria just upheld the governorship election in my home state, now this government will run till 2019, this is actually in my favour, thus making me want to graduate faster and get my self outta this ''amazing'' country, but then again, not all Nigerians want to go back home, this 'fine brother' *winks* wants me to stay back in Europe,(not Estonia). i don't know much about delimas and decision making, but i hope i don't fuck this up for us both.
Nigerians has found a way to recycle plastic bottles by using them to build a house that is fireproof, bullet proof and Eco friendly, that is great news, seeing that in the last months all i have been getting from home are just bad news about how the present government is fucking up.
Ok, i have managed to say so much in a non correlated way, i'm sorry, but then again, this blog is about 'everything and nothing'.