Friday, 21 April 2017

The other side of Life.

That one minute of near death experience we get when we cant find our cell phones in our handbag is nothing compared to when you actually stop breathing and all that is going on through your head is 'Dear God don't let me die in Ireland, so Far away from home'.

So the gist is, i traveled to Ireland, (against advises from friends)because who listens to advises right?, but the point is not the travelling part, the point is the consequences that could arise from the trip... OK, i will give you the whole gist.

I fell ill, very ill, that it was impossible to carry on normal daily activities, like properly digesting food and bending down to lift objects even so much as to tie up shoe laces (i have to sit and twist my leg 90 degrees  to fit it in), what was the cause , you ask? umbilical hernia, who knew that was a thing? turns out the intestine (i don't know which, whether small or large) was sticking itself through my belly button (probably looking for a way out, i guess my insides don't like me that much they have to find a way to escape) and this resulted to a swelling (hernia).

Went to the doctor's and it had to be fixed, a mesh was placed inside to cover the hole, so that the hernia would not come back again,(hopefully this procedure works). Tallinn been a wonderful place that it is, the doctor didn't have much to say to me pre and post surgery (i guess he felt everything is on the internet and i can damn well read, if i want to), i had no idea what to expect, how to take care of me, what to eat, what not to do etc, i was left to my fate.

So you see why i traveled? because i didn't get any doctors advice to do or not to., any which way, i went and at exactly 12 am on the same day of my arrival, when everyone had gone to bed, i ran short of breath, it was very painful and difficult to inhale, needless to say , by 12;30 the ambulance was at the doorstep and soon enough i was at the hospital, and there my friend, began my Irish vacation, i went through  series and series of test!

The most scaring part was when i was transferred from ER to the cancer ward! because at first they couldn't figure out what exactly was going on in my insides, and i was vomiting a lot, so one student nurse (i'd like to think, that she is one) decided that i was showing early symptoms of a cancer patient. this same nurse by the way was unable to find a vein to draw my blood, she stabbed the life off my both hands, like i still have the spilled blood under my skin (a week after) it was that bad.

I was advised to remain in Ireland for another two weeks before returning to Estonia, but i'm a poor tourist, i was already scared of the medical bill (turns out the treatment was free, i only had to pay for the night spent, sort of like the bed space used, or if i can provide my European Health Insurance Card, then it be covered.) i was treated and discharged with no one telling me how to or how much to pay, (they take the Easter celebration pretty serious, as all offices were on holidays), i had to go back 4 days later to inquire about the medical bill, (i love Ireland).

Tallinn beckoned and i heeded, i'm back to my boring and lonely life... but the evil spirit in me still want to travel... sigh! what to do with myself?
I know this story was cut half and half and a lot taken out, but you know that state where you have a lot to say at the same time that , you just say way less? that's me right now.!

Saturday, 18 March 2017

i'm woman

that moment when you get your heart broken into several uncountable pieces...
it its not like these things just happen, we have already perceived it from miles away, we know when someone is shady and lying and hiding things, we know when a story is not straight, we know when you slip and choke on your words, we know what response you would give to every question, even before you say it.
why then do we get to listen to your cheap, uncoordinated stories of lies? are we stupid? weak? or just silly? it is my conviction as a woman that we listen to you because we expect that you wouldn't embarrass yourself and lie, we give second and 15th chances not because we cant get your sorry ass outta the way, nope! its cos its in our nature to nurture, and with that instincts, we also let a grown man fool himself hoping that redemption would knock on your heart soon.
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the above draft was written a year ago, for a moment i couldn't remember what exactly happened on the said day, but i went back to my album and got all the reminder i needed,
the crazy part is that i still feel same way now, because not much has changed, the lies are still there, the uncoordinated stories are still there, i still have fresh evidences, but why am i still holding on? haven't i reached the limit of 2nd chances that should be given? (abi dem do me from my village ni?) first draft it was " fake youlia" now it is Margaret...
i will keep this draft and see maybe next year will be a Sandra or Folakemi.
i don't want to talk about how i feel (stupid because i opened this blog to talk about my feelings, but they are just too much in a messed up place right now, so i'm going to just shut up and watch)
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I am woman hear me roar, in numbers to big to ignore, and i know too much to go back and pretend, (Helen Reddy).
they say, you know you are healed when you can truly laugh about the things that once hurt you,(i guess i am then)
you see, the first part of this was written a year ago, the second was written December last year, and this is march 2017.... time sure does make things seem vain.

An After Taste of TLU.

I cant sleep....
This has been going on since i returned from Nigeria two weeks ago (yes i went home!)...
No.... i am not thinking of anything (well nothing in particular, just random thoughts)....
I need sleep like yesterday, i have Prada ( eye)bags now on both eyes (not funny)....
I have written and deleted , my head is just full of so much to rant about....

So to night i got angry all over again, why you may ask?
 well let me analyse this for you....
 Nigeria was colonized by the British in the early 1900's, before they came we had our own different indigenous languages, they need a means to communicate so they forced down English on us, and ever since then, English has been the major language spoken so much as to earn it the right as the official language of the country.

I was born in the late 1980's so technically the language i was taught was English, i have lived over 25 years on this earth speaking, writing and breathing English Language.
While trying to gain admission to pursue my masters degree, i came across this country called Estonia, i met all the requirements to gain me an admission, but they claimed i had to write an English Language exam, i refused, explained to them that i speak better English than 90% of the people in the country, so i sent a letter from my home university stating that i studied my undergrad program in English and that my English is sound.

 Forward to the last semester before graduation, they came up again with the rule that i had to actually write that English exam and get a certain score (seriously cant remember what score exactly they wanted) but needless to say i took the IELTS and scored way above what they wanted.
Fast forward again to last week when i got a call from home to send my degree, and that was when i realized it was in Estonian Language, (NB; my two years program was taught in English, and not very good English from some lecturers, if i may say.)

 I contacted school to know why my certificate was in Estonian, considering i was in an English program, and after been transferred from one person to the other, it turns out the only explanation was that the certificate comes from the government not the university and as thus they cant make the government produce an English copy.

 This got me riled up because, i have family members who have also studied in Europe, and they were all given two copies of the certificate, one in English and the other in the countries Language.
 i had to go through the rigors of getting it translated (quite expensive i must add) and they couldn't even honor me by giving a signature from the university.
The troubling questions now are;

Why is Estonia different?
why do they have to insist on English Language exam before admission?
why is it a prerequisite to pass an English test before graduating?
why been taught in English and given Estonian certificate?
Why is it even more difficult to get the certificate translated by the university?
Why cant the university, ministry of education or 'the government' accept to get a translated and notarized copy signed and stamped?

I am still mad, because when i go back home, i have to present an A4 computer print out as my certificate from 'Abroad', it is going to be difficult to convince people that truly what i am showing them is a certificate, it is even difficult convincing myself.


Tuesday, 7 February 2017

Maid in Tallinn

I got this summer job as a housekeeper in a Hotel, it was meant to be a job to renew my residence permit, it did just that, but it took all my time, i now have a standard routine, i cant hang with friends (not that i have much) i dont have time to write on blog, i barely have time to watch the T.V. i am constantly exhausted, i am always worn out and tired, but since i have no time to get a better job i am stuck in this one (this is probably where i die). 

it would be written on my tomb stone - here lies the body of a near beautiful lady who cleaned her way to death in swisotel. (and to think i just thought of that now,,,tsk tsk tsk)
maybe just like the movie 'Maid in Manhattan' i 'm yet to meet my prince charming, so i shouldn't give up hope yet, just keep cleaning and you will get it sarims!.

Boy, have i seen strange things, knock three times, announce your entrance, and the guest deems it appropriate to come out butt naked, because it is too much trouble for him to wrap a towel around himself, or was it the one time when one guest thought it would be appropriate for me come 'take care of his personal needs' lol, 
one guest thought all i needed that day was a compliment, so after appreciating my beauty and elegance, he thought i would just jump on him and reciprocate with a kiss, (no he didn't think, he actually expected it, ooh, you should have seen the disappointment on his face)

Today is my off day, and i would like to catch some sleep, i will be back with more swiss adventures hopefully before the year runs out.

The city of love (Romance)

It  had me! i was captivated, i was awed! i was staring but not seeing, i was drooling, literally with my mouth open and saliva dropping down my slightly parted lips, i was in love (again). dont get me wrong, it wasn't the most magnificent thing i have seen, but i think it was just the timing and my mind set, plus the feeling of accomplishment (you see, i have been looking forward to this trip for a very long time.)
 it was an amazing journey until i needed some assistance, then it dawned on me that once again i'm in Europe, and English is not exactly there strong suit.(smh)
so i stayed in this fancy Hostel, not too far from the Airport, the reason i chose this hostel was because they had a shuttle to and from the Airport,( i didn't want to get ripped off by Airport Taxi's, seeing as it was my first time in Paris), the shuttle also takes you to the nearest train station where you can get a train to the city certain, it was just perfect for me.
 i have traveled a lot, but this was the first time i was travelling to a big city Alone, i got lost one too many times in the train station, but i felt at home with all the black faces around (it was nothing like Tallinn) so i knew it didn't really matter i can always ask around for my way.(my first disappointment)
Anyways when i got a hang of my way around, i had fun, it was a great week, i did everything (you can imagine i would do) a tourist would do , i visited every nook and crannies, i took late night walks, i drank wine with strangers, i was elated, it was trip i would like to re live.

One year gone!

Hello People,
It's a new year, its a new life and i'm feeling good.... 
First, i must apologise, its been a year already people, on e whole year since i last visited, you can be certain a lot has happened.. where do i even start from? 
I have fallen in and out of love , 
I have played parent and kid role,
I have finally finished that Thesis and graduated,
I got a job,(nothing fancy)
I have lived in three different locations in the past year,
 Yes i traveled too (that  is the most important, and boy! did a lot happen on that trip)
It has been one crazy life since the last time i was here...
 I have lost friends (well, people i thought were my friends)
I know you want to hear about it, but no worries i will dish.

Thursday, 4 February 2016

How do you differentiate Nigerians

I sat on my chair and surfing the net to gather as much info as i possibly can before lunch time, and m y colleague decides to engage me in a discussion about Nigeria, on a normal day, i don't like to discuss the country, because lets face it, everyone already knows 'there is always killing in that country' but for the 'informed', 'Boko haram is at it again in Nigeria' those are the kind of opening discussions i get all the time when people want to talk about Nigeria, but he is my colleague and he is expected to have at least 50% knowledge of sub-Saharan African countries, because that is his division here at work anyway, so i was happy to be intrigued by his knowledge on my dear Nigeria.

So we talked and then he asked how i get to identify people from Nigeria, considering the fact that we have so many ethnic regions and language, (let me tell you this, i was already impressed, because he knows some of the ethnicity that people don't care to know, i know i don't.) so i explained about the Yoruba tribal marks, the accent which you must depict when any one speaks, the fact that every region has an alphabet deficiency and with that you can know who are speaking with... blab bla bla.

Then we went into the most notable people or significant people from Nigeria, he named a guy from my tribe, who is now a Swedish citizen, but he is famous in Estonia as he comes often for concert and stuff, i don't even know the guy, (thanks to google)i did a quick search and learnt what i ought to have known 'as a Nigerian' lol. it was interesting as he talked about so many people, i then told him a very famous writer would be coming to Tallinn sometime in June , i have this information because her book is been translated to Estonian language, and some parts where she used phrases from my native dialect, i 'm helping to get that translated. he was so elated and would like to read her book and maybe get to meet her when she comes.

The conversation took a downturn when he asked about sports, (i should have known this was coming) he talked about how famous my national team is, and that so many of the players are in some major European leagues, i affirmed because this is basic knowledge, but i have no idea who is who, and what football league they play for, (as we say in Nigeria, ''i don fall hand'' which means i disappointed him), he went ahead to name names, and which league they play or played for, and that he went to the UK once to watch and got an Autograph from Kanu Nwankwo, lol... 

This reminded me of when i visited Riga and i was engaged on a conversation about Nigerian football players and i didn't know most of them or their names just skipped my mind, i had to literally apologize to the dude and promised him that i would learn more about them in case someone ever asked me, (i obviously didn't)

Well, having said all this, i will go back and get acquainted with my roots and get interested on things that seem irrelevant to me, but are of worth to others, i mean with all the bad press, it is welcoming to hear that some people have faith in other aspects of Nigeria apart from its political bullshit and terrorist activities.